fromstylingtobaking

It’s been a while.

A whole year, actually.
I thought I’d come back with something clearer, something more put together — something that made sense of the time I’ve been away.

But life didn’t pause neatly for me to figure it all out. It just… kept going. Quietly, quickly, and sometimes a little heavier than I expected.

So instead of waiting for the “perfect” words, I’m coming back with an honest one.

There’s a quiet kind of guilt no one really talks about.

The kind where you hear good news and you’re genuinely happy for them… but there’s a small, heavy pause in your own heart.

Not out of jealousy, but from your own silent hopes — the ones you don’t always say out loud. The ones that feel a little louder when things don’t happen the way you’ve been praying for.

Some days you’re okay. You stay busy, you move forward.
And then some days, it just hits a little deeper.

If you’ve ever felt this way, you’re not alone. And it doesn’t make you a bad person — it just means your heart is holding something deeply important. 🤍

I was the girl who laughed with the sun,

Strong-willed, soft-hearted, spoiled by love—

Clinging to dreams that wore white veils,

Of a house full of little feet and loud joy.

I timed my life to a perfect script—

Married by twenty-five, six kids in tow,

The kind of chaos I could cradle,

The kind of love I thought I’d know.

But years slipped by like unanswered du’as,

No ring, no cradle, just prayers echoing in silence.

I made peace with loneliness, held my parents closer,

Whispered maybe this… is my rizq.

Then came you.

Not in fireworks or grand entrances,

But in the quiet way you asked my father,

And the way I said yes through trembling prayers.

They say nothing prepares you—

Not for the silence after arguments,

Not for the ache of missing home,

Not for living beside someone and still feeling alone.

I’ve cried into pillows I can’t tell anyone about,

Carried the weight of wanting—

A child, a familiar laugh, a moment of ease.

Some days I wonder if I chose right.

And then I hate myself for the wondering.

But I am trying.

I am here, five thousand kilometers from comfort,

Learning how to be a wife when I barely know how to be whole.

I am grateful, deeply, endlessly—

But I am also breakable.

Still, I stay.

Because love is not always loud or easy.

Sometimes it’s the quiet act of waking up and choosing,

Even when choosing feels like a battle.

And maybe, just maybe—

One day I’ll look back and find beauty

In all this becoming.

And so to you, my love—

In the quiet moments between all the noise, I want you to know this—

I love you.

Through the good days and the hard ones,

Through the laughter that fills our home,

And the silence that sometimes stretches too long.

I may not always have the right words,

But my heart is always with you.

I carry you in my prayers, in the deep of night,

In every hopeful whisper I send up to Allah.

No matter how hard the days feel,

Please remember—

You are not alone in this life we’re building.

I’m here, beside you, learning and choosing you again and again.

May every step you take be blessed, May we always find our way back to love and May Allah always bless this marriage, guide us to him and grant us both His Jannatul Firdaus.

Always,

Your wife.

In Qatar’s embrace, one year has flown,

A journey shared, where love has grown.

Beneath the desert sky so wide,

We’ve found our place, our hearts allied.

I’m grateful for the life we’ve made,

For blessings in each sunlit shade.

Your love is constant, a guiding star,

Though miles from home may feel too far.

In this foreign land, so vast and bright,

I cherish you, my guiding light.

Yet sometimes in the quiet hours,

When shadows stretch and hope grows sour,

The distance from familiar faces,

Leaves me yearning for warm embraces.

With few to share my daily strife,

I find myself adrift in life.

My dessert dreams have flourished here,

In local hearts, they’ve brought us cheer.

Though challenges and doubts may creep,

In sunshine and in moments deep,

I find my strength in all we’ve built,

In every triumph, in every tilt.

Yet in the quiet, in the still,

Emotions sometimes get their fill.

I know I shouldn’t dwell too long,

On loneliness, on what’s gone wrong.

For in this life, both sweet and sour,

There’s growth and love in every hour.

So here’s to us, to all we’ve gained,

To every joy, through every strain.

I’m grateful for this path we tread,

With you, I’ll face the road ahead.

In this vast land, with skies so wide,

With you beside me, I will stride.

With love and faith, I rise through all.

For though I’m human, flawed and small,

With love and faith, I rise through all.

I love you my sweet love, yesterday, today, tomorrow and always.

Another year, another attempt of restarting this blog again. Here we go. ‎﷽‎

السلام عليكم ورحمة الله وبركاته

So today marks a month of me being a wife. Hiks. Loving it so far. I know i know…I’m still in my honeymoon phase. I’m just so grateful to be blessed with someone who loves me for both my strengths and weaknesses. May Allah keep this marriage strong in love and in deen until Jannah. آمين يا رب العالمين

❤️